Elena-sugarock

I just went back to one of my drawers, reviewing one of my first workbooks, when I was learning to color little squares and drawing lines. I got this feeling that a kid would be eternally happy if it weren't impossed by other people the way "they should be"

One thing are the rules we need to follow.. but changing what we are to please someone is totally wrong.

I did a bit of that, for a while ... and noticed few months ago. Trying to always look for approval from someone else to know what you are doing is right..leads just to insecurity...you just forget who you are.

I don't know still the right recipe to gain confidence, perhaps it's just love.

Anyone walking eyes closed, open your eyes and get to see the treasure you hold.





.i think too much still...i might get a migraine.

i'm tired.  

i think i need to read more, i feel like my brain needs to be fed.
i think i'm scared of heights but i wanna go bungeejumping someday.


Lately i can see how awful my behaviour has turned to be...mistakes



I'm jealous, but i want to understand...
.....sometimes i understand, sometimes it doesn't work


It's cold. i want an ice-cream.
I want to sleep with my cat to feel warm.
I want to tell you how much i still love you.


I wish i were taller. but what if i were. Perhaps someone out there really loves me just the way i am


I need to put a tablespoon of adrenaline in my life. Perhaps the whole package

Everything is better in little bits...if you want it all at once, you choke.


I'm a bit impatient, TOO TOO TOO MUCH. I'm stubborn.

i secretly want to learn how to dance, even when i say i don't like it. It feels fun when you try.



The truth...
I want no words.

The truth, all i want to do so much is find you.

...but everything has a time and a moment.

While looking for something to read the other day, i found an old magazine, it read march 1947, that old ..

i started checking it for fun, then started reading some articles. One of them was this one about scents. When i found it it made me smile, because just by reading the title it made me go back to like 4 years ago. Personally i found some close familiarity with the sniffing thing itself and it reminded me of a friend.

This is something that i have always found sorta special. I'd rather have a conversation than just sit writing here listening to myself.

These moments when my feelings break in like a storm leave me viewing life with a new perspective. Lot of things come at once..like a single dose containing years of a daily drug. It's a particular feeling, hard, scary, endless.

As if I were sitting in front of the beach, watching the sea come and go, watching the waves born, grow and break on the rocks. I feel all of my memories, my heart itself speeding up, everything coming just at once.

..

I have come to think i only need a bit of support and a little bit of affection to go back to who i am supposed to be... as if i were still a little kid..

Sometimes i'd like to see me with the eyes God does to see everything more clear.

Falling in love is one of those magical feelings that motivate you to give the best of you, to value what you didn't see before, that helps you to overcome your fears and grow as a person. It only depends on you to keep working on those beautiful things you hold inside...just like the fuel for the fire..